


Dear You

by Space_Sapphik



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Lucy Spraggan - Freeform, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Suicide, THIS IS DEPRESSING, but it's like a letter, don't read if it's an issue please, it is written from first person just a warning, no nsfw tho, serious trigger warning for suicide, teenage love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Sapphik/pseuds/Space_Sapphik
Summary: Draco reminisces about his times with Harry right before his son leaves for school.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~loosely based on Lucy Spraggan's song 'dear you'. Please enjoy.





	Dear You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the stuff here, the song is by Lucy Spraggan and the characters of Harry Potter are owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. pictures, I own none of it and am not making money off of it.

 

Dear You,

It's been so long. You know I still remember when we first met, I was getting fitted for a robe and you were just there all of a sudden. That's always been your way of bursting into my life, no matter where we were or what I was doing you just turned up. That was it that was the very first time I saw you, I think that's when it hit me, just how beautiful you are. Not that that mattered, you were charming and nice, and nothing like what my family described. You were a stunningly attractive person with an unbelievably attractive personality, and I internalized those feelings. Not that I knew any of that at the time, I just thought that I hated you.

After that first time, I couldn't get your face out of my head, it was there whenever my eyes closed, your voice was in my head almost constantly. I didn't mind. I only had to wait a little while before we were at school, and already deep in a rivalry, already fighting over the tiniest things. We went on like that for years, fighting, hating, in my case loving.

It all came to fruition that day in Professor Binns' class when you looked at me. We made eye contact, and I smiled, like an idiot. Why on earth did I do that, my entire body flushed and I could feel it happening. I shocked myself doing it and I turned so fast that I fell off my chair. You looked so angelic, so beautiful, I couldn’t help smiling. So, of course, I got held back. I thought that that was it, you would beat me up maybe kill me, I was prepared. When I came out of his classroom you were there, you were waiting for me, you had even told you, friends, to leave. I don’t remember exactly what I said, or exactly what you said, but you laughed at least once and I failed to notice anything else until you told me to follow you. You walked off into what looked like a solid wall. That wall engulfed you and you disappeared, I evidently wasn’t thinking because I followed you. Into a wall! Anyway, there was some room behind the wall, with some really old drapery and some comfortable armchairs that looked like they hadn’t been used in years. You smiled at me, and my knees went weak, I don’t know looking back on it how I managed to stay upright. I remember exactly what you said at that moment. 

“Draco, I know everything has been weird for a while, but would you like to start over?” You reached out your hand, and those words struck me more than anything else I had heard before, you wanted to make peace with me? After everything, I had done to you?

So I just nodded, I could feel myself blushing once again and I took your hand. When our skin touched I felt that spark that I always thought was fake. It felt like magic more powerful than anything else I had ever felt, and I loved it. Life got better from then on, or at least it got better from my end, I can only assume that things were better for you as well. 

It started simply with being cordial towards each other, we would smile and nod, occasionally sit next to each other in class if our friends weren’t there, and most importantly we stopped abusing each other. It felt like everything was right, of course, I wanted more but I knew that I would never get it so that was enough. After a while, we would sit together while studying at the library. Ron wasn’t very happy and neither was Hermione particularly although she was more polite, my entire family and the group of Slytherins I hung out with thought I had some dastardly plan, I didn’t. I would sit at the same table, and we would both study, separately. That is until, we had a potions assessment, and you were not getting along well, in fact, you had no idea what you were doing, so I offered you a hand. You accepted and we started talking. Mostly we just spoke of school work, or some event happening at school, on occasion you might mention your friends, or I might mention mine, but it felt very much like a professional relationship. Time went by and you started to speak more and more of your friends, and your personal life, I guess I took that as a cue and began to mention my own life more. It was nice, I felt like I could actually confide in you without fear of judgment. You seemed to feel reasonably safe confiding in me, and when I heard about your home life I saw red. I couldn’t believe that Dumbledore a man whose philosophies may not have aligned with my families but who I respected would leave someone in that situation. No wonder you were so skinny, you always came back from Summer break looking more and more withered. My families dislike for muggle’s seemed to make a little more sense hearing how your family acted. 

So our friendship continued, we kept in contact over the holidays, and I attempting to send regular food and books to you. You seemed grateful, but I always thought that I should have been doing more. You came back from those holidays different, you were still small and seemed weaker than usual, but you seemed happier somehow, you smiled at my friends. That evening after the feast and the sorting, you came and found me, I don’t know how you knew that I was there, up in the astronomy tower watching the stars but I’m glad you did. You sat with me and listened to me ramble about starts and constellations, you let me joke about my family, and you thanked me for the food. I told it was just what friends did and your face fell slightly, I had no idea why at the time, and I put my hand on your leg smiling at you. It felt like one of those moments from muggle films, we leaned in and everything seemed to go in slow motion, and all of a sudden you were kissing me, and I was kissing back. We didn’t tell anyone, it didn’t seem necessary, we had each other. 

So we began to spend more time together. We would sit together in the sun, by the lake talking and laughing. I’m sure some people suspected something, but no one said anything. Our lives continued on like that, we spent time together whenever we could and snuck into each other's dorms at night. I got to learn about most of the secret passages and rooms in the castle there were more than I could have imagined. My best memories of my teenage years were spent with you. They were the best of my life, you where mine and I were yours in a way that you can never imagine. Those two years were amazing, I will never forget them. My dreams are filled with you, I’m lying there next to my wife and you are all I can think about.

I always wish you it hadn’t happened, I think about it every day. I know that it was the right thing to do at the time, for both of us, that doesn’t mean I don’t regret it.

The war loomed over us and with conflicting sides, it wasn’t safe anymore. So we broke it off, we stopped seeing each other. We stayed talking, we never went back to fighting, but we were never going to be the same. So the war happened, and my mother didn’t let me out of her sights, not for years. 

I married Astoria, you know Daphne Greengrass’s sister. We had a kid, I love him more than I could say, he is perfect, all I hope for him is that his life is better than our own. I stopped seeing articles about you after your third child, you married the Weasley girl and named your kids after teachers or something. It’s been years.

Scorpius, that’s my son, he starts Hogwarts tomorrow. I wanted to apologise for everything before we saw each other again. I left you voicemails, on the old number I didn’t even know if you still had that phone, I didn’t get any replies and so I decided to all the Weasley’s.

I remembered their number vaguely, Arthur picked up. 

They were surprised to hear from me, I don’t think that they were expecting anyone to not know what had happened or to call them, especially not me. They asked how I was if I still lived at Malfoy Manor, they were kind, and then I asked what you were doing. 

Arthur started crying and my stomach dropped. Molly walked out of the house and took a deep breath. I felt as if I somehow knew what was coming next. She started to talk about Ginny and the kids like she was trying to put something off. Ginny is doing okay, the kids are looking forward to going back to school. She skirted around you, I could still hear Arthur crying gently in the house. 

She told me about how after school you and Ginny got married, you had three kids, Albus, James and Lily, I should have known, and how you had seemed so happy. You loved her and she loved you so much, you were good with the kids and even if you couldn’t be home that often you were always fun. She said she never expected this, that if she had she would have tried to help. You always seemed so happy. The divorce came as a surprise but it was best for everyone, you and Ginny still had a close friendship and the kids got to see you both plenty.You seemed better somehow, lighter, and then you disappeared. 

Not for long but you started to not talk to people for weeks, but when you were there you seemed happy. Ginny found the bottle first, she didn’t think much of it until she found another and another. You stopped seeing the kids after that and refused to get help. Then you truly disappeared. You hadn’t seen the Weasley’s, and Arthur hadn’t seen you at the ministry. 

It was weeks before Molly finally thought to go around and check on you, but she waited too long. Arthur was one that found you, then Molly. It was a gun, in the end, only the muggle way for you. 

There was a note as well, well actually there were two, one for the Weasley’s and, well one for me. 

I've read and I'm so so sorry for everything, I'm so sorry. That why I'm writing this letter to the one true love of my life. It's okay it's going to be okay. 

I'm going to see you soon and I can apologise. It won't be long now. I will see you soon my love, my angel. 

Yours forever and always,

Draco


End file.
